Sometimes I get in funks. Sometimes the world beyond my home feels…
too dressed up
And so I feel like shutting it out. Don’t get me wrong. I am not a recluse. But I have one of those personalities that doesn’t always love people. Actually, if I am being honest, part of the reason I became a teacher was so that I could work with kids and not grown ups. Because sometimes grown ups feel…
too dressed up
And so I shut the world out. I stay in my home. I take my son to preschool and go to the grocery store when needed and that’s it. And for a few days I love it! I love checking out from the world. I love the feel of my home. I love one of the best luxuries of being a housewife or SAHM which is the simple bliss of not being committed to the outside world on a regular basis. But…if I don’t pay attention…I fall into a funk.
And I basically become a mess. Old anxieties conjure themselves up. Laziness turns into….well…more laziness. And before I know it, I kind of…suck. Do you know what that feeling is? That feeling of letting yourself go and then realizing, “Holy Balls! I am that mom that totally let herself go!” For a day or two, I might allow myself to wallow in self pity, but then I realize something.
I realize that feelings are like ugly sweaters that your grandma gives you on birthdays and other holidays. You just have to accept them. You can’t be pissed at them, and you can’t ignore them. They really are ugly sweaters. You just have to take them for what they are worth. Acknowledge them. Accept their ugliness. And move the hell on with life.
And once I put the ugly sweater away, I realize that there is a lot of nice shit in my closet. This is my metaphoric closet. My real one kind of stinks, but my metaphoric one is fan-freaking-tastic. Seriously, I have some great shit in there. But I don’t see it when I focus in on the ugly sweater.
So I kind of think that ugly sweaters are fine to bring out on occasion. Who doesn’t love an ugly sweater party every now and then? But I think it is important to know when the party is over. And yes, I have officially hit my limit on metaphors. Seriously, I am one metaphor away from a dollar store book deal. But sometimes a few metaphors make saying, “Sometimes being alone with kids all day is overwhelming which leads me to feel isolated and lazy, which then leads me to be somewhat moody, anxiety ridden and perhaps a bit depressed.”
Because who wants to read that?
So I have this plan that I sometimes forget that I have because I put in my ugly sweater fanny pack….because that is what really completes the look. My plan is to go some place at least every third day. No more than two days totally home bound. A trip to the indoor mall, a trip to a park or even just a quick visit with a friend is the best preventative medicine I have against….um…funky town. I couldn’t resist. When will I ever be able to use that line again? Hopefully, never.
So if you are in a funk, re evaluate what’s in your closet. And yes, I know that issues such as depression and sever anxiety are more than a funk, so please don’t tell me that what’s going on with you is more than a sweater. I get it. But if you are in just a “funk,” you might want to reconsider what’s in your closet. There might be something good.