artist unknown

I have to admit.  I use to be a bit of a celebrity gossip…whore.  Yes.  Once, not too long ago, I was completely obsessed with those $4 grocery store magazines and celebrity gossip sites.  Thankfully, I grew out of that phase; however, every once and a while, I pick up on a tidbit of gossip about a celebrity mom doing something that makes the rest of society gasp.

Normally, I don’t pay much attention to it.  But today, I have found several sources discussing the newly crowned “most beautiful woman,” Beyonce, and her breastfeeding saga.  I actually really like hearing about celebrity mothers breastfeeding.  I think it helps our society re-familiarize itself with one of the most human and natural acts on the planet.  However, something about Beyonce’s story bothered me.

I didn’t care that she breastfed her child for “only” 10 weeks.  P.S. I kind of hate it when people put the word “only” in front of the amount of time that a woman breastfeeds for.  Some women fight like hell to breastfeed for 10 weeks.  Using the word “only” before it makes her sound like a slacker, and that judgment really is not fair.

What bothered me about the story was the discussion of Beyonce attributing breastfeeding to allowing her to lose the bulk of her pregnancy weight in those 10 weeks; 50lbs to be exact.  First, I don’t know if her breastfeeding actually helped lose the majority of that weight.  Could it have?  Maybe.  But is it more likely that the specially prepared meals and 90 minute personal training sessions played a larger part in the losing of that weight? Maybe.  Or perhaps the fact that she was in stellar shape before having her daughter had a role in helping her body bounce back?  Possibly.

But, I mean, who really cares?  Who cares if she says that breastfeeding helped her lose 50 pounds?  I mean, she breastfed, right?  That is all that mattered, right?  And she may even get more women to try it too, right?  So, what the hell is your point?

Dramatic pause.

Follow me.

Let’s say I told you that I lost 50 lbs by reading a story to my child every day.  Sounds pretty fantastic and almost too good to be true, right?  You might question me.  But let’s pretend that I am super famous and beautiful.  Maybe you won’t believe me, but some people will.

So suddenly tons of women decide to start reading to their kids every night because they think it will help them lost weight.  5 weeks in, most of the women don’t see any difference at all, so they give up.  8 weeks in and even more women give up on reading to lose weight.  Finally, when 10 weeks approach most of the women that have kept up with the reading regimen are tired, feel a bit duped and are still overweight.  So they quit reading to their kids, and they will probably never read to their children in hopes of losing weight again.

They won’t even care that there reading provided valuable attention and nurturing to their children.  Or perhaps, they won’t even be aware of it.  Because I never told them about it.  They only saw one dimension of reading.  They didn’t get the whole picture.

Let’s say these pissed off women come to me and call bullshit on my reading weight loss plan.  Then I tell them that I was reading while biking 90 minutes a day and eating a sparse diet of fish, greens and fruit.  Some of those women are going to tell me that the reading had absolutely nothing to do with my weight loss.  And they could be, right.

And now you are probably saying, but breastfeeding actually does burn calories. Breastfeeding actually can help you lose weight.  Nobody gets skinny by reading a book to their kid, you daft cow.

And you are totally, right.  Because the point of reading to your child is not to lose weight.  The point of reading to your child is to nurture, teach, spend time and show affection to your child….and isn’t that also the point of breastfeeding?  Don’t we kind of cheapen the act of nourishing and nurturing our children by first and sometimes only touting the benefits that it potentially provides to our waistlines?

And just like women give up on diets or “lifestyle changes” when they do not provide the desired physical changes expected, are there not women that give up breastfeeding when they do not lose weight like a celebrity?  Or what about the women who quit breastfeeding once they do get back to their pre pregnancy weight?  That is my problem when people discuss weight loss as a reason for breastfeeding.  It doesn’t do the act justice.

Nutrition, bonding and nurturing are the things that I would really like to hear more celebrities with power talk about.  I would like to hear about their struggles and joys.  And I would like to hear about how rewarding it was to see their children thrive.

And I know that there are celebrities who talk about the most important aspects of breastfeeding.  For all I know, Beyonce herself has.  But the problem is that those conversations seldom make magazine or internet headlines.  They aren’t sexy enough.  A woman’s body defying the laws of physics is a far more interesting read. And breastfeeding to lose weight has never gotten a mother called “weird, different or a freak.

It seems like our society punishes mothers who like breastfeeding “too much.”  Celebrities like Mayim Bialik or Salma Hayek.  Women who shout the true benefits of breastfeeding often get ridiculed or ignored by a media and society who at its core has lost touch with the real reason for breastfeeding.  And the real reason has nothing to do with losing weight.

So am I judging Beyonce for chalking up her dramatic weight loss to breastfeeding? No.  Not at all.  For all I know Beyonce wanted to shout from the roof tops how wonderful her bonding experience was while nursing but didn’t want to endure the wrath of celebrity magazines and bloggers for liking it “too” much.

No.  I judge those that feel we should cheapen the act of nurturing new life the way nature intended into only a weight loss plan.  I dislike the fact that we use weight loss as a hook to “get” women to breastfeed.  I dislike the idea that a woman breastfeeding for whatever reason is good enough.  I don’t think the end justifies the means.

I would rather see women educated.  I would rather women enter the experience of breastfeeding with no other expectation than that of nurturing their children.  We don’t have to hook women into breastfeeding with a gimmick.  Women are incredible, intelligent and loving creatures.  And if we treat them as such and provide them with information and an accepting society, than I think we will have many more babies receiving all of the benefits that come with breastfeeding for longer periods of times.

Because at the end of the day, the real reason we breastfeed has nothing to do with ourselves and has everything to do with the babies.  And our babies don’t care if we lose 50 pounds or gain 5 more.  They know that we do it for them.